I see this come up a lot in coaching people: they want to be productive, so they try to leverage their negative emotions to spurn themselves into action. It seems to work great for procrastination - so much so that most people come to rely on that deadline crunch for motivation. Stress is real and useful. But if used chronically can really burn you out. Same thing with other negative emotions.
It usually looks like anger. You get worked up in a negative emotion, and anger is the one that actually leads to action. But with time I've come to see its roots more in digust. Cultivation of a genuine distaste and dislike of the situation, which is then boiled until its anger and reaches a threshold upon which you have to act.
Problem with these negative emotions, is that far too often, they're not used accurately enough. Especially if you're turning it back towards yourself. You're angry at yourself? Okay maybe it feels like that, but what are you really angry at? Who you are? Or the situation you're stuck in?
The problem with using negative emotions against yourself is that it gets in the way of self-acceptance, self-love and appreciation. And we genuinely need those positive emotions for a sense of self-worth that encourages agency, resilience, grit and growth. You can't eat negative emotions - they're starving you of the energy you need. Positive emotions do give you energy. But just like it's hard to make yourself cook when you're exhausted, negative emotions are way easier to access in low periods.
So, in regards to all this and your productivity, I invite you to consider:
What are you actually disgusted at? The situation that's leading to continued inaction?
Can you love and accept yourself, while simultaneously being dissatisfied and disgusted about how it's being handled? How would you reconcile both of those being true? Get specific on what you don't like, but also reinforce what you do like. This level of emotional clarity will allow you to release the dread of engaging with those emotions - because you don't have to suddenly question your identity or purpose, you just have to attack the external problem.
It's okay to be dissatisfied with a situation, but say nice things about yourself okay?
Aaron Ball. Recovered Academic. Grieving Environmentalist. Evidence-Based Transformational Coach. Electronic musician. Transrationalist.